Cat's incredible Witch-limericks:
There was a young lady named Cat who tried to lure cats off her bed. She tried it with jam, that appealed not to them. So she tried it with marmelade instead.
(Alright, we had this one already and it is only about myself and my cat - just to see if you pay attention - but all the rest is about the witches, I promise! =)
There was an old lady named Bat who took a pet bat into her bed. It got somewhat squeezed, so it squiggled and sneezed and out of the window it fled.
That lady thought it rather sad to lose her beloved pet. All night long she seeked wherever it squeaked and never a lid did she bat. (I know it ought to be *sought*, not *seeked* - but would that rhyme? NO! *looks gruntled*)(You can use that one as a tounge-twister as well.)
There was a headmistress called Cackle who had lots of problems to tackle. Sometimes she looked sad, sometimes she grew mad. She was like Mrs Hyde and Dr Jackyl.
There was a strict lady called Hardbroom, whose pupils immediately sensed doom, when this lady appeared everybody just feared there was some disaster at loom.
(Or maybe you'll like that one better:)
Miss Hardbroom dresses black like a nun and wears her hair in a tight bun. She's just skin and bones and she scolds and she frowns, So her pupils never have fun.
Miss Drill has a whistle and shorts. She's completely addicted to sports. She's modern and blond, and likes to confront traditional witches and sorts.
Mildred's a young witch without skill who receives bad marks in her bill. She nearly got sacked and had her bags packed, But convinced Cackle of her good will.
There was a young witch at a school who thought walkmen especially cool. Her steel cyper-pet went stark raving mad. She just liked playing the fool.
There is a cute girl wearing glasses every task she is given she passes. She stands up for her friends and kind letters she sends to her Granny along with molasses.
(Alright, that's a weak one, but I just couldn't find a proper rhyme for glasses. And who knows - Maud's granny might like molasses. Maud looks as if she did like them herself .)
Jadu's a girl with a long braid. "Well done, Jadu" is what everyone said, When she gave a wide grin at the trouble they were in: "Come on, girls, it's not really that bad."
(Well, it's difficult to say something about Jadu, cause she's always so sensible.)
There is a smug little witch called Ethel, Drusilla' s the name of her best pal. They are teacher's pet, on their comrades they rat and give poor Mildred a bad spell.
Enid is full of mischief and tricks and trouble she constantly picks. She teases her cat and is rude to Miss Bat. (It is said that sometimes potions she nicks).
(Well, the last ones weren't that great, but I didn't want to leave Ethel, Drusilla and Enid out. Did you ever try to find some word rhyming with Drusilla? You can't write a sensible limerick with words like "mantilla" or "vanilla", that's what I've learnt now. I give you fair warning: Don't try that at home, children! It might injure your brainstructure.)
Fenny and Gris are a pretty pair, one of them dark, the other one fair. They act sober and wise and never tell lies, but do raps rigged with punky funk hair.
There once was a wizard called Helibore. Who proved to be an incredible bore. When he spoke of his life and his struggle and strive people rapidly started to snore.
Rowan-Webb was a frog in a pond. When he squawked for help there was no respond. He felt so left-out and blue when Mil came to the rescue, so of her he grew very fond.
I should do some other limericks, 'bout sweet talking guys who played tricks, Hallow, Charlie and Frank, but you all can bank on it: no more rhymes will I fix.
(At least not today, that is. )Cheerio! I'm exhausted.
(c) Catherine 2000