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Cat's incredible Witch-limericks:


I know these  limericks are amazing and I ought to gain millions of pounds by writing them but sadly I don't. I hope you still appreciate these exquisite pieces of poetry. To put you into the right mood for enjoying them, let me quote from one of my favourite books about a bear who was also a great poet:

"You'll like this piece of poetry," said Rabbit."You'll love it," said Piglet."You must listen very carefully," said Rabbit."So as not to miss any of it," said Piglet.


Cat's incredible Witch-limericks:

There was a young lady named Cat       who tried to lure cats off her bed.           She tried it with jam,                             that appealed not to them.                      So she tried it with marmelade instead.

(Alright, we had this one already and it is only about myself and my cat - just to see if you pay attention - but all the rest is about the witches, I promise! =)

There was an old lady named Bat          who took a pet bat into her bed.                   It got somewhat squeezed,                      so it squiggled and sneezed                  and out of the window it fled.

That lady thought it rather sad                  to lose her beloved pet.                           All night long she seeked                 wherever it squeaked                            and never a lid did she bat.                        (I know it ought to be *sought*, not *seeked* - but would that rhyme? NO! *looks gruntled*)(You can use that one as a tounge-twister as well.)

There was a headmistress called Cackle who had lots of problems to tackle. Sometimes she looked sad,       sometimes she grew mad.                     She was like Mrs Hyde and Dr Jackyl.

There was a strict lady called Hardbroom, whose pupils immediately sensed doom, when this lady appeared                everybody just feared                           there was some disaster at loom.

(Or maybe you'll like that one better:)

Miss Hardbroom dresses black like a nun and wears her hair in a tight bun.          She's just skin and bones                     and she scolds and she frowns,              So her pupils never have fun.

Miss Drill has a whistle and shorts.      She's completely addicted to sports.    She's modern and blond,                       and likes to confront                     traditional witches and sorts.

Mildred's a young witch without skill       who receives bad marks in her bill.        She nearly got sacked                          and had her bags packed,                     But convinced Cackle of her good will.

There was a young witch at a school     who thought walkmen especially cool.     Her steel cyper-pet                              went stark raving mad.                          She just liked playing the fool.

There is a cute girl wearing glasses      every task she is given she passes.       She stands up for her friends                 and kind letters she sends                       to her Granny along with molasses.

(Alright, that's a weak one, but I just couldn't find a proper rhyme for glasses. And who knows - Maud's granny might like molasses. Maud looks as if she did like them herself .)

Jadu's a girl with a long braid.              "Well done, Jadu" is what everyone said, When she gave a wide grin                      at the trouble they were in:                "Come on, girls, it's not really that bad."

(Well, it's difficult to say something about Jadu, cause she's always so sensible.)

There is a smug little witch called Ethel, Drusilla' s the name of her best pal.      They are teacher's pet,                           on their comrades they rat                     and give poor Mildred a bad spell.

Enid is full of mischief and tricks            and trouble she constantly picks.          She teases her cat                               and is rude to Miss Bat.                          (It is said that sometimes potions she nicks).

(Well, the last ones weren't that great, but I didn't want to leave Ethel, Drusilla and Enid out. Did you ever try to find some word rhyming with Drusilla? You can't write a sensible limerick with words like "mantilla" or "vanilla", that's what I've learnt now. I give you fair warning: Don't try that at home, children! It might injure your brainstructure.)

Fenny and Gris are a pretty pair,            one of them dark, the other one fair.     They act sober and wise                       and never tell lies,                                 but do raps rigged with punky funk hair.

There once was a wizard called Helibore. Who proved to be an incredible bore.   When he spoke of his life                      and his struggle and strive                       people rapidly started to snore.

Rowan-Webb was a frog in a pond.     When he squawked for help there was no respond.                                               He felt so left-out and blue                   when Mil came to the rescue,                  so of her he grew very fond.

I should do some other limericks,         'bout sweet talking guys who played tricks, Hallow, Charlie and Frank,                     but you all can bank                               on it: no more rhymes will I fix.

(At least not today, that is. )Cheerio! I'm exhausted.


(c) Catherine 2000

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